stacey london co-hosts TLC’s what not to wear, and i’ve watched enough episodes of that shit to put it on my resume. that said, i can tell you with authority that this lady would bitch slap you if you came out of the dressing room wearing these jeans on her show.
if “fit and flatter” means cameltoe, i’m out.
because nothing says “fuck me” like a cosby sweater.
i wanted to sit down, but thanks for the maneltoe show instead.
i know that long island is made for lazies and paraplegics isn’t made for walkers, but i think that in my half-mile schlep from the bus stop to work, i get about 35 pieces of gravel in my ballet flats each time. and try as i might, those sharp fuckers will just not come out with the shake of the slipper; i have to stop, remove my shoe, dig out the pieces while balancing on one foot, and avoid getting hit by cars (as my path isn’t actually a sidewalk, it’s a series of parking lots).
this, of course, never works, and my first step is always punctuated with the sharp pain of stepping on yet another undiscovered rock.