what part of “hi, how are you?” and “may i please have a sandwich? here, i have some money” warrants a fucking attitude from every fucking employee at every fucking cosi i’ve ever been to?
i’ve taken the liberty of editing their hourly employee application — let me know if i missed anything:
…more specifically, getting one of your own to live in. and i just did.
hell motherfucking yes.
part of the reason why so many of my rants are about commuting are that it takes me a minimum of 90 minutes to get anywhere (and yes, i live in queens. just the most inconvenient spot ever, i think). and now i can actually be self-sufficient, and socialize without having to leave every event at 10:30pm like a grandma.
long island bus system, so help me, you are on my last effing nerve.
it should go like this: show up 10 minutes early for your bus. wait 20 minutes. get on the bus, avoid having someone’s armpit in your face for the duration of the ride. fail at not having someone’s armpit in your face for the duration of the ride.
bad times when that’s the best case scenario. i can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
you know why they invented the long island iced tea? so that people could stand to be here.