Category Archives: places

87. death stares from cosi employees

what part of “hi, how are you?” and “may i please have a sandwich? here, i have some money” warrants a fucking attitude from every fucking employee at every fucking cosi i’ve ever been to?

i’ve taken the liberty of editing their hourly employee application — let me know if i missed anything:

suggestions for changing the cosi employment application

see detail:

are you physically capable of shooting death lasers out of your eyes?


saturday cease-fire #8: really cheap apartments in desirable areas

…more specifically, getting one of your own to live in. and i just did.

hell motherfucking yes.

part of the reason why so many of my rants are about commuting are that it takes me a minimum of 90 minutes to get anywhere (and yes, i live in queens. just the most inconvenient spot ever, i think). and now i can actually be self-sufficient, and socialize without having to leave every event at 10:30pm like a grandma.

yay. 🙂

35. buses that never come

LIBus_Orion2long island bus system, so help me, you are on my last effing nerve.

it should go like this: show up 10 minutes early for your bus. wait 20 minutes. get on the bus, avoid having someone’s armpit in your face for the duration of the ride. fail at not having someone’s armpit in your face for the duration of the ride.

bad times when that’s the best case scenario. i can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

27. long island

long island iced teayou know why they invented the long island iced tea? so that people could stand to be here.