83. veiled insults

things you shouldn't say when asking people for money

homeless dude to every woman on the A train, as he was trying to wrangle some change out of us:

“you’re so pretty. don’t mess it up. be nice.”


saturday cease-fire #11: the kitten covers

album covers with kittens

i ❤ david meowie.

82. people who sit in cowboy stance in cramped quarters on the train

people who sit with their legs wide apart on the subway (aka man sitting) drive me crazy

i wanted to sit down, but thanks for the maneltoe show instead.

81. hair stylist math

the day before halloween last year, my hair got hacked off. i was not thrilled, but i spent the last year growing it out to a long, curly, awesome-if-i-do-say-so-myself length.

i went for a haircut on friday night. here’s how it went:

stylist: your hair is LONG! it was so much shorter when i saw you last.

me: i know! i like it. i want to keep the length… i want to have it long for my wedding.

stylist: me too! we’ll just shape it up a little, add some long layers.

—snip snip snip—

stylist: i took two inches off. the ends were dry. [note: it was closer to 3 inches when flat-ironed. just saying.]

me: you know that’s going to be five inches shorter when it’s curly, right?


BAH. the shape is nice, as always, but it’s just SO much shorter than we talked about. normally, i can roll with a haircut that i wasn’t expecting, but dear hair stylist, a) don’t you know how curly hair works?, b) why don’t you warn me when you want to take off more than i wanted?, c) i hope it grows out in time for my nuptials, and d) i don’t have the luxury of finding someone who won’t completely fuck up my hair for when i need a shape-up before the wedding. and i’m not about to lose 5 inches (when curly) because, surprise! my ends that looked fine were dry. it’s curly hair! it’s always going to be a little dry!

80. working on a laptop all day

laptop-standthis dude is my hero. viva railing against laptop-induced bad posture!

79. taxes

funny-pictures-kittens-are-now-tax-deductibleexplain this to me. i was owed two paychecks + pay for 3 vacation days. i estimated my hourly rate after taxes, and figured out roughly how much i should have gotten. the total amount i was paid was equal to the two paychecks after taxes. so, because my first paycheck was held until now and i was paid more in a lump sum, i’m taxed significantly more?

son of a bitch. i would have called out for the last three days. HR dude said “well, at least you’ll get it back as a refund,” which will hopefully be true, but what a bummer.

fucking taxes.

78. TMI facebook status updates

Picture 10

dear grade school friend who friended me on facebook,

i really, really didn’t need to know that you got boned this morning.