Tag Archives: shoes

86. girls who can’t walk in their heels

this doesn’t just happen to drunk girls. this happens to, like, 1/3 of you.

take a tyra banks tip and practice before you take ’em out.

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70. getting gravel in your shoes

feeti know that long island is made for lazies and paraplegics┬áisn’t made for walkers, but i think that in my half-mile schlep from the bus stop to work, i get about 35 pieces of gravel in my ballet flats each time. and try as i might, those sharp fuckers will just not come out with the shake of the slipper; i have to stop, remove my shoe, dig out the pieces while balancing on one foot, and avoid getting hit by cars (as my path isn’t actually a sidewalk, it’s a series of parking lots).

this, of course, never works, and my first step is always punctuated with the sharp pain of stepping on yet another undiscovered rock.

55. crocs

crocs1) they’re hideous and should die in a fire.

2) they just relieved a third of their workforce, which is really unfortunate.

3) they’re hideous and should die in a fire.

53. men wearing flip flops

athfcarl

men of new york who don flip flops: frodo called, he wants his toe hair back.┬ánothing says “i hate responsibility and sobriety” like a pair of plastic shoes on a man.

(is this one totally sexist and wrong? yes. and i’ve accepted that.)

16. open-toed boots

nwucanU.G.L.Y., YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI, YOU UGLY! YEAH YEAH, YOU UGLY!